Thursday, December 23, 2010

Remember that step of "bravery"?

Well I'm ready for another one. And I'm also ready to be less scattered, more centered. I'm ready to be more present in the moment, which (for some reason) can be very difficult for me! I often find myself in the world of ideas and abstracts rather than in the present moment. I love this "other" world, and I have no intentions of giving it up. But I recognize that I need to be here more. HERE. As in... actually with my kids, with our hands in the play dough, not off thinking about...oh...who-knows-what.
What am I doing to be more present? A lot of things. Actually, not a lot of things (because I don't do a lot of things at the same time well). A few things. One of the things I'm doing is this: instead of trying to keep up with two blogs, I'm going to return to just one. But I'm going to try to post what I would have saved for this blog on the other blog. For me, that's a bold step. (Yay for me!) And i'm going to return to journaling pen-and-paper style. Just for me.
How long will this last? Who knows. But I do know this: I long for a peace that extends beyond the borders of peaceful times and seasons. I long for the courage to be who I am without excuses or shame. I long to be more centered and grounded yet still full of feeling and emotion (which just comes so darn easly for me!). And, I think the reality of these longings are at least somewhat linked to un-scattering myself and refocusing some of my energy.
So this is not a good-bye--I'll still be alive and well over at thezsfamily. But this is either a permanent or a temporary closing of this particular blog. Obviously, only time will tell which it will be.
And maybe there really is no one to say good-bye too. Which is okay with me :). This blog wasn't really about "you" anyway.
Have a meaning-full Christmas. And as you ponder deeply, may you also experience fully today.

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