Bring On The Wonder

Can't see the stars anymore living here

Let's go to the hills where the outer lights are clear

Bring on the wonder

Bring on the song

I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long

~"Bring on the Wonder" by Sarah McLachlan

I live in Africa. I live in the bush. The stars don't get anymore clear and spectacular than here. And yet, in the place I've been living, this time of jaded life and surface living, I can't see the stars! they sparkle through every glass-less window in my home, but somehow...for me...they just aren't there.

Let's go to the hills where the outer lights are clear

Sometimes the going isn't physical or literal. Sometimes it's a soul journey. That's where I am.

Bring on the wonder

Bring on the song

I pushed you down depp in my soul for too long

If that can be a prayer, it's definitely mine.

I remember a time when every hike in the mountains or run in the country or even the drive through town felt magical to me. Everything exploded with life, and I could see it. From the sun's reflection in a mud puddle, to the crinkling of dried leaves under my feet--it all shouted beauty; it all sang of God's kingdom come.

I still see glimpses of it: in the life-loving eyes of my daughter who was once seemingly doomed for death; in my students' howls as they feel the rhythm of poetry; in the storm hovering above.

The seeing just doesn't come as naturally anymore. And the heart-exploding wonder is gone. I want it back. No more pushing it down deep in my soul with worry...or efficiency...or oughts...or (you name it).

So, God, bring on the wonder. Bring on the song. Tonight I'm going to the hills. Tonight I'm stepping outside my door, lying down beside the swaying banana tree, and allowing the sparkling stars above to reopen my eyes...so I can see once again.

~This post is dedicated to Amy Hooper and Kerrie Protasewich, who, once upon a time (many years ago), relished the wonder with me.